(well one time I was at a party with my older brother when I went to visit him at Alabama [roll tide baby] and I definitely hooked up with that girl after the tailgate.) Jamie told me I couldn’t leave her; that if I left her I’d be a dead beat dad just like my old man, and she said that cause she knew how much I hated my old man, how I’d promised her if anything ever happened and we were going to have a baby I wouldn’t do her like that. I guess she didn’t have leverage like that over the real father and that’s why she targeted me, but I lost everything in that hospital room at 3 am with her hand in mine, I lost my future, my career in football (and I was on track to go pro), I lost my baby and I lost my girlfriend. I don’t know what Jamie expected me to do, I feel so bad about the way I acted, I feel so bad about the way it all happened, I feel so bad inside; like there’s a rock in my stomach that the acid can’t dissolve; I can’t believe I acted the way I did in that hospital room with Jamie at 3 am I can’t believe that I said all that and did all that shit that I did in that room; but She made me. She always had that kind of control over me, I never did anything without tying it somehow back to Her; ever since I was five She has been a part of my life and has had each of my decisions by the collar. It was all Her, I know it was, when I ran my big wheel into the street and got hit by a car because She was there; across the street, calling out to me and telling me I didn’t need to look both ways, that I was safe. She was there in the hospital room after. And She was there in that room with Jamie; standing on the opposite side of the bed from me and looking at Jamie with our baby in her arms, She was there looking at the baby with me, her head pressed against mine and I heard Her say that’s not your baby. and then She started to scream, and I knew She wouldn’t stop until I did something about the fact that that baby in Jamie’s arm wasn’t mine too. I hit her; Jamie; I hit Jamie in that room with our baby weeping in her arms, I hit her and I called her a whore, I told her she ruined my life and that her bastard child would never have a father because no one would be able to stand the sight of her for more than a week, I told Jamie she would never get her body back and that was wrong of me. But She wouldn’t stop following me, She walked beside the security guards as they dragged me out, She laughed the whole way. And She sat in the passenger seat and got so close to me, whispering in my ear saying shit like you should’ve killed her, she ruined your life why does she deserve to live? and on and on and I asked Her to go away, but She just dug her nails into my thigh and told me She would never let me go; that She would be right next to me until the day I died, that if I wanted to get rid of Her I would have to off myself.